Rights Leaders Must Surrender
- Nichole Schreiber
- Aug 1, 2025
- 5 min read
Updated: 2 days ago
Introduction
When I initially assumed the position of lead pastor, someone approached me and said, "Congratulations! Now you can do whatever you want!" I gave a polite smile at the time. However, the error behind their assumption became clear. Leadership is not about acquiring privilege but about giving it up for the benefit of others. Promotion does not grant more rights; it brings greater responsibility. Ministry requires sacrifice, service, and surrender. If we are not prepared to let go of certain things, we will never be able to embrace the leadership mantle God has given us. Rather than doing whatever we please, our calling involves forfeiting certain rights for the kingdom's sake.
Right to Control the Narrative
One of the hardest rights to surrender is the ability to manage how others perceive us. People tell stories from their own perspectives, rarely providing the full context. Sometimes—to safeguard confidentiality, protect others, or maintain integrity—pastors cannot explain their side. It may feel unjust, but it is part of leadership. Prayerfully make the best decisions you can, using the information and resources available to you. Then, if others question your motives or create a false narrative, you can give it to God with a clear conscience. That is what David did when King Saul was pursuing him. Instead of trying to avenge himself against Saul, David simply said, "May the LORD judge between you and me" (1 Sam. 24:12).
Right to Be Understood
Of course, some people will misread or misunderstand even the best pastoral intentions. We cannot insist that people understand us, but we can patiently strive to communicate clearly. At the end of the day, ministry is about serving. The apostle Paul provides a helpful template in 1 Corinthians 9:19–23. Though he was free, Paul chose to become a servant of all, adapting his communication style to meet people where they were. Leadership requires that level of intentionality. Communication is part of the job. It is not always glamorous or convenient. It might mean saying the same thing one hundred times—on various platforms and in different ways—to get across what seems obvious to us. Good leaders do not demand to be understood. Instead, they work to make understanding possible. The goal is for people to feel informed, seen, and valued. Therefore, we should seek to remove confusion wherever we can and fill the gaps with encouragement.
Right to Defend Myself
Every minute I spend defending myself is a minute I am not advancing the kingdom. I have learned this lesson the hard way—through real conflicts, relationships, and wounds. It is simply not worth the cost. There will always be people who question our motives, twist our words, or assume the worst. The natural response is to take a defensive posture and push back. But that instinct can rob us of peace—and distract from the mission. Jesus modeled restraint in the face of false accusations. When he stood before Pilate and the religious leaders hurled insults and lies, Jesus "gave no answer" (Matt. 27:12). He did so because he trusted the Father to vindicate him. You do not have to rush to your own rescue. Time and faithfulness are the best defenders. Proverbs 26:4 says, "Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him." Not every fight is worth your energy. Not every opinion deserves a response. Often, the best course of action is to pray, leave it in God's hands, and move on. Keep demonstrating Christ's love, trusting God to change hearts and lives as only he can.
Right to Avoid Responsibility
It might not be your fault—but as a pastor, it is still your responsibility. This is one of the toughest truths in leadership. You can do everything right and still have to clean up someone else's mess. Maybe a team member dropped the ball. Perhaps someone did not follow through, or a miscommunication spiraled into conflict. Step up to deal with the fallout, even when it was not your mistake. The higher you go in leadership, the more responsibility you have. It is always worth considering how you might have contributed to the issue by asking:
What could I have communicated more clearly?
Did I follow up as I should have?
Did I provide enough support, direction, or care?
When there is a failure at any level, make it right. Offer apologies where appropriate. Owning responsibility does not weaken your leadership. It strengthens trust. People do not expect perfection, but they do need you to set a humble and godly example. The only perfect leader is Jesus. And though he had no sin, Christ took our transgressions on himself. Philippians 2:7 says Jesus "made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant." That is the leadership model God calls us to emulate.
Right to Do My Own Thing
A popular refrain today is, “Just do you." The right to do our own thing is one Christ followers — and especially ministry leaders — need to let go of for the sake of the gospel. Actions have consequences. Particularly in leadership, there is no such thing as a personal decision. Every choice you make impacts your team, volunteers, and community. As 1 Corinthians 8:9 reminds us, we need to be careful that exercising our rights does not become a stumbling block to others. Just because we can do something does not mean we should. Leadership means living with a heightened awareness of your influence, example, and responsibility to others. Whether it is how you spend your time, what you post online, how you behave in public, or even what you say behind closed doors, it all matters. People are watching. What they see in you is shaping their views of faith, the church, and God. Before making a decision, ask:
How will this affect the people I lead?
Will it help or hurt the team culture we are building?
Could it confuse, discourage, or distract someone?
Does it undermine or add credibility to my testimony?
We give up the right to live for ourselves when we follow and represent Christ, who “did not come to be served, but to serve” (Mark 10:45).
Conclusion
Leadership is not easy. It will test your patience, humility, and even faith at times. Every right we surrender is an opportunity to reflect on the one who gave up everything for us. When we release the right to control the narrative, to be understood, to defend ourselves, to avoid responsibility, and to do our own thing, we make space for something far greater. We step into a kind of leadership that is Spirit-led, kingdom-focused, and people-serving. Church leaders do not get to do whatever they want; instead, they do what matters most. We have the opportunity to set the tone, influence lives, and point people to Christ. The sacrifices are well worth the rewards.
Prayer
Blessed are you, LORD our God, King of heaven and earth. You demonstrate authentic leadership through your love and sacrifice. Teach us to follow your way, lead with courage and compassion, to honor you, and build your kingdom. Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Bibliography
Bonhoeffer, Dietrich. The Cost of Discipleship. New York: Touchstone, 1995.
Greenleaf, Robert K. Servant Leadership: A Journey into the Nature of Legitimate Power and Greatness. New York: Paulist, 2002.
Nouwen, Henri J. M. In the Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership. London: Darton, Longman & Todd, 1989.
Wright, N. T. After You Believe: Why Christian Character Matters. San Francisco: HarperOne, 2012.
The author also published this essay for Influence Magazine on October 31, 2025.
