5 Rights Leaders Have to Give Up
- Nichole Schreiber
- Aug 1
- 6 min read
Introduction
Leadership isn't about perks or position—it's about surrender. Every step into greater influence requires letting go of something: control, comfort, convenience, even personal rights. It's not always glamorous, and it's definitely not easy. But it is worth it. Because authentic leadership—Christ-like leadership—isn't about being served, but about laying your life down for the sake of others.
This isn't a list of complaints or sacrifices to resent. It's an invitation to lead with open hands. To trust God more than your reputation. To serve when it costs something. To carry weight without needing applause. These are five rights every leader must surrender—and why giving them up might be the most powerful thing you ever do.
1. The right to control the narrative.
As leaders, one of the hardest things to surrender is the need to manage how others perceive us. People will always tell stories from their own perspectives, and the full context is rarely shared. Sometimes, for the sake of confidentiality, protecting others, or simply doing what is right, we cannot explain our side. This can feel unjust—but it's part of the cost of leadership.
Even Jesus, the perfect leader, did not defend Himself when He was falsely accused: "He was oppressed and afflicted, yet He did not open His mouth; He was led like a lamb to the slaughter" (Isaiah 53:7). He entrusted Himself to the One who judges justly (1 Peter 2:23).
David, too, understood this. When falsely accused or hunted down, he didn't always try to explain himself or retaliate. He let God be his defender: "Let the Lord judge between you and me... but my hand will not be against you" (1 Samuel 24:12).
As leaders, our role is to bring clarity where possible, speak truth in love, and then let God do what only He can—defend our name and protect our reputation. He is present in every room where our decisions are being discussed. We don't have to fight for approval or vindication—He's already there.
I've learned to rest in this truth after making tough calls that invite misunderstanding or criticism: I made the best decision I could with the information and resources I had, and I trust God with the outcome.
2. The right to be understood.
As leaders, we have to surrender the right to be immediately—or ever—fully understood. Yes, we strive to communicate clearly. Yes, we create space for questions, even the ones that feel repetitive or unnecessary. But at the end of the day, it's not about being perfectly understood—it's about serving those we lead.
The Apostle Paul modeled this beautifully in 1 Corinthians 9:19–22. Though he was free, he chose to become a servant to all, adapting his communication style to meet people where they were: "To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews... I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some." Or, in our modern-day remix: "To the texter, I text. To the emailer, I email. To the Facebook Messenger, I DM. To the phone caller, I pick up and talk. I do whatever it takes to reach people."
Leadership requires that level of intentionality. Communication is the job. It's not always glamorous or convenient—you'll repeat yourself a hundred times, clarify what seems obvious, and answer questions long after you've moved on. But this is how trust is built.
We give up the right to say, "They should already know this," or "I said it once, that's enough." Instead, we take full ownership of making sure people feel informed, seen, and valued. We remove confusion wherever we can and fill the gaps with encouragement. Never leave people wondering where they stand with you. Because good leaders don't demand to be understood—they commit to making understanding possible.
3. The right to defend yourself.
This one's personal. I've learned it the hard way—through real life, real people, and real wounds. Every minute I spend trying to defend myself against someone's accusation or misunderstanding is a minute I'm not spending building the Kingdom. And that's a cost I'm not willing to pay.
Leadership will put you in situations where people question your motives, twist your words, or assume the worst. The natural response is to set the record straight, to argue your side, to make sure everyone knows "what really happened." But that instinct can rob you of peace—and mission.
Jesus modeled restraint in the face of false accusation. When He stood before Pilate and the religious leaders hurled insults and lies, "Jesus gave no answer" (Matthew 27:12). Why? Because He trusted the Father to vindicate Him.
Time and faithfulness are your best defenders. You don't have to rush to your own rescue—God's got you. Proverbs 26:4 reminds us, "Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him." Not every fight is worth your energy. Not every opinion deserves a response. Instead, pray blessing over the people who misunderstand you. Wish them well. And move on. God will protect your name far better than you ever could. You just keep building.
4. The right to escape responsibility.
It might not be your fault—but as a leader, it's still your responsibility.
This is one of the toughest truths in leadership. You can do everything right, and still end up cleaning up someone else's mess. Maybe someone on your team dropped the ball. Maybe a miscommunication spiraled into conflict. Maybe someone didn't follow through. But in moments like that, we don't get to exonerate ourselves. Leadership means stepping up, even when it wasn't your slip-up.
In football, after an interception, the camera cuts straight to the quarterback. Why? Because fair or not, people want to know how the leader is handling it. That's the weight of leadership. When you're the QB, the camera's on you.
Jesus didn't shy away from responsibility—even for things that weren't His "fault." He stepped into our brokenness, took on our sin, and carried it to the cross. Philippians 2:7 says, "He made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant." That's the model. The higher you go in leadership, the more responsibility you carry. A wise leader always asks:
What could I have communicated more clearly?
Did I follow up the way I should have?
Did I provide enough support, direction, or care?
And when there's failure? Apologize. Freely. Often. Even if you weren't the one who caused it. Owning responsibility doesn't weaken your leadership—it strengthens trust. Because people don't follow perfect leaders. They follow humble ones.
5. The Right to "Just Do You"
One of the rights you surrender as a Christian leader is the right to "just do you." The truth is—your actions never only impact you. In leadership, there's no such thing as a personal decision. Every choice you make sends ripples through your team, your volunteers, your community.
Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 8:9, "Be careful, however, that the exercise of your rights does not become a stumbling block to the weak." In other words: just because you can do something doesn't mean you should.
Leadership means living with a heightened awareness—of your influence, your example, and the impact of your decisions. Whether it's how you spend your time, what you post online, how you carry yourself in public, or even how you speak behind closed doors—it all matters. Because people are watching. Not in a creepy way. In a you-matter-that-much kind of way.
Before making a decision, wise leaders ask:
How will this affect the people I lead?
Will this help or hurt the team culture we're building?
Could this confuse, discourage, or distract someone?
Does this bring credibility to my testimony?
We give up the right to live for ourselves because we've been called to live like Christ—who didn't come to be served, but to serve (Mark 10:45). So no, as a leader, you don't get to "just do you." But the trade-off is beautiful: you get to be part of something bigger than yourself. You get to help shape a culture, lead a people, and build the Church. And that's worth every surrendered right.
